The benefits of babywearing for non-birthing parents
In this post I want to look at the benefits of using a sling for all those parents who didn't physically give birth to their child - these could be Dads, partners, same sex partners, stepparents, adoptive or foster parents, those who used a surrogate, or more… Families come in all sorts of diverse & varied versions, yet this is something which is often still not acknowledged or understood by society as a whole. In the media & on our social platforms, we still often are only exposed to the archetypal family structure made up of, Mum, Dad & child(ren) (& most of these images will also be of white, able bodied people too, but that’s a conversation for another day!).
Building safe,
secure attachments with our children is key, not only to their physical & emotional
development, but to ours too. So, using a sling right from those early days
& months of their lives, can be beneficial for all:
For the
birthing parent/primary caregiver it enables movement, (you can even get up
& pee!) it can make looking after yourself & a little bit of selfcare
more achievable.
For the partner/non-birthing parent it enables you time to be with your child, to bond with them & enjoy them. It also means you are more likely to be able to give your partner or the birthing parent some much needed rest & recovery time!
Holding baby
close & safe in a sling can be such an enabling experience. The gentle
touch & all over "hug" baby gets from being in the sling,
releases oxytocin in both caregiver & child, helping you both to relax
& bond. Baby is soothed by the familiar movement & sounds; they hear
your heart beating & feel safe against your chest. This may mean baby is
easier to settle for short periods away from their primary caregiver, be that
through choice or necessity & can help that parent to feel more
confident in their parenting abilities. It is also a great way to get some additional
(discrete if necessary) skin-2-skin time with baby – something which is widely
recognised as beneficial in the immediate postpartum period but is often forgotten
about beyond the first few days of life. Skin-2-skin has many physical health
& mental wellbeing benefits for both parent & child & continues to
be a valuable parenting tool which can be used throughout infancy & beyond
made more achievable by using a sling.
Time in the
sling aids communication:
Right from
birth we are learning to "read" our baby's cues. Watching them,
waiting for them to let us know what it is they need - food, warmth, a clean
nappy, comfort, etc... Learning to recognise these cues can happen more quickly
& effectively, helping to build confidence & assurance in both parent
& baby through babywearing.
As baby grows
& begins to take in more of their world, they are learning from us too - about
language, facial expressions, emotions, etc... They can sense our emotions
& mood through the physical contact of being in the sling. Both of your
hands are free, making the use of sign language more easily achievable. They
have a good clear view of our faces to see our different facial expressions
& watch our mouths move as we speak, learning about speech & language,
as well as the unspoken social cues & “art of conversation”. If they have
vision or hearing difficulties, they can feel the vibrations when we speak
& easily reach our faces & mouths to touch us. They also become
completely involved in whatever we are doing - watching us as we go about our
normal daily routines, cooking, cleaning, working, playing, etc... experiencing
life with us, from the safety & security of the sling.
Whether you
became a parent to a newborn, older baby or even a toddler, carrying them in a
sling can be hugely beneficial for foster &/or adoptive parents too.
Despite whatever trauma, that child may have been through, the closeness
&
connection built whilst babywearing helps encourage children to learn to trust again
& build new attachments with their new careers, parents & families, enabling
social, emotional & physical development, where previously this may have
been delayed. Carrying your child (in a sling) stimulates the neural pathways of the brain to make connections
& build happy, healthy brains, giving carried children a greater opportunity
for growth & development within a safe & nurturing relationship & space.
Carrying our children (in slings) encourages us to parent responsively, follow our instincts, be in tune with our children & trust them to show us the way. This leads to more emotionally literate, independent children who will hopefully continue to grow into happy, well-adjusted young people & adults venturing out into the world & making a difference.
No parent will
ever regret time spent loving & nurturing their children – so enjoy all the
cuddles & carry your baby(ies) with pride in the sling, for as long as you wish
too.
Read more about attachment from Dr Rosie Knowles of Carrying Matters here & here.
You will find a whole wealth of knowledge, information & experiences on the Carrying Matters website, including posts about adoption & babywearing Dad's.
If you are a member of the LGBTQ community looking for LGBTQ led babywearing support, check out Nanny Kimbo & for more general parenting support The Queer Parenting Partnership
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